The more we try to control things and take things into our own hands, the more we are out of control. We may feel like we are in charge for a short time but shortly after we will feel the effects of not giving something to God that we should have.
When I think of someone who is a control freak I think of someone who makes things happen just the way they want. But lately, I’ve learned that that’s just the stereotype of a controller. God really showed me that my desire to always have the answers to every season in life is my way of controlling. Instead of truly trusting God, I would ask and ask and ask all these questions- which isn’t a reflection of trust.
If I asked James why he was doing something a certain way and his only response was, “Trust me.” I would look him in the eye as he said those words and my heart would feel the familiar feeling of trust and I would just say, “Okay.” James has a history of being someone that I can trust and rely on. So with no questions asked I would just trust him.
Shouldn’t we feel this way with God? Our lives are filled with hundreds of reasons why we should trust God. If we can’t see it in our own life then we should point to scripture. The Bible is full of thousands of examples of God being trustworthy. So, when God says, “Trust me” or “Be still” or “Wait for my timing,” we should just say, “Okay.”
I am the type of person that asks a lot of questions. Just in general, I am detail oriented and I like to plan things out. I also love to learn new things and asking questions is a great way to learn. So naturally, I do that with God. I ask him very detailed questions during my prayer time and many times God does answer. However, through that, I have started to rely on God’s answers as a crutch and I wasn’t satisfied until I knew why things were happening the way they were. When God started giving me answers like, “My timing is perfect” or “Trust me and my word,” I was not happy. I was starting to feel doubtful in his promises for my life.
Through this I learned that this was my way of controlling things. I trust God’s plan but I wanted to know the who, the what, the where, and the why.
While I trusted the plan, I didn’t trust the path.
The path to God’s plans can be bumpy, narrow, and hard. Sometimes it can be wide, smooth, and not so hard. It is the unknown and the uncertainly that can be scary. And that is what I was trying to control. I figured if I knew all the details of the path it would make it easier.
There are plenty of times where God speaks very detailed to me, and then there are times like recently, where it’s not. And I have to be okay with that. I’m still learning to be okay with it. What can I say, I am a work in progress.
Even though I don’t fit the stereotype of a control freak, that doesn’t mean there are not areas in my life that I like to control. While I trust God’s plans for my life and believe in his promises, I also need to trust the path to the plan… and be a little less controlling along the way 😉