When James and I were in college we spent a semester studying in Israel. We spent 12-16 hour days traveling the country, going to historical sites, archeological digs, etc. A lot was on foot and we were exhausted every. single. day.
Towards the end of the semester, we had a day where we climbed a mountain to see a fortress that Herod The Great built. After spending time learning about the history and archeology we started the hike down, which was a different path then we took up. The trail down was scary. It was on the edge of the mountain, no safety rails, uneven rocks and paths, and 90-degree weather. My ankles were shaking from my fear of heights and the fear of falling because of the loose rocks under my feet.
This trail took us three hours to get down, so for three hours, I was scared out of my mind. A little over halfway through the trail I became angry. Angry that we were made to walk down this scary trail when there was an overhead trolley that would take us to the bottom in just a few short minutes. Mad that we weren’t told ahead of time what we were doing that day so many of us, myself included, wore sandals instead of sneakers. Mad that someone thought this whole thing sounded like a good idea. In the heat of my anger and expressing it to James as we walked together- I felt the desire to blame it on someone. I started telling James that our professor made a poor decision and how he wasn’t looking out for us that day. I was a total whiny baby. But at that moment, it felt good to find someone or something to blame it on.
The truth is, it wasn’t my professor’s fault. It wasn’t his fault that I wasn’t wearing my proper shoes. It was my responsibility to make sure I was wearing the proper attire since every day was different. Some days required us to be covered because of holy sites while others were super casual because we were out in the desert. It wasn’t my professor’s fault that we went to this mountain- it’s historical and one of the highest rated tourist sites. It would have been mean to not take us there. It wasn’t my professor’s fault that it was 90 degrees out and that I hated heights. It wasn’t his fault we took the trail and not the overhead trolley down. I ended up finding out his original plan was to take the trolley but a majority of the group ran ahead and started down the path and him being in the back didn’t give him a chance to tell us that there was a trolley.
All that blame I put on someone who didn’t deserve it.
Don’t we tend to do that from time to time? When things are bad or hard we look to see who or what we can place the blame on in order to make sense of our anger. We do this so we don’t have to accept responsibility and falsely feel better about the situation.
This clouded lens will cause you to see and feel that everyone is out to get you, that missed opportunities are due to others not seeing or valuing you, and that you’re tired of working hard and coming up short every time. The victim role goes hand in hand with the blame game. So, while you place blame for all the bad in your life, you will make excuses for yourself each time.
When placing the blame on others loses its comfort, you will then start to blame God. First, you will accuse Him of allowing these bad things to happen to you. Then, you will believe the lie that He caused them to teach you a lesson or punish you.
Sweet Friend, God is never the author of the bad in your life. In fact, He’s the only good thing in your life because anything that stems from good comes from Him. When you choose to blame God for all the shortcomings and bad hands you were dealt- you will never live the testimony of Romans 8:28.
The enemy wants you to believe that it’s God’s fault. Just like I falsely placed blame on my professor, the enemy will convince you to falsely put blame on Christ. The truth is- the enemy is the one who comes to steal, kill, and destroy. It’s Christ who comes to bring you an abundant life.
John 10:10 says, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
If you choose to blame- who you blame affects your future. It will prevent you from seeing the areas in your own life you need to learn and grow in. It will block you from gaining wisdom and maturity. Others will recognize your “victim” mentality and it will affect the relationships you have, it will prevent opportunities from coming your way, and will stop blessings from manifesting in your life. How? Because when you choose to blame God for all the bad in your life you will simultaneously reject all the good He has to offer.
The lens of the blame game is broken. Through this broken lens you will think everything is unfair and that you need a new life when really you just need a new lens. You need a lens of faith, belief, and courage and that lens is only found in knowing the word of God.
3 Simple Ways You Can End The Blame Game In Your Life
1. Gather: Spend time with other believers weekly. Choose people who will lift you up, pour into you, and train you on the word of God. Learn about God’s word in the corporate setting and gain wisdom from the leaders and mentors around you.
2. Read: Know scripture and live it out daily in your life. Your lens cannot be changed because of “inner strength” or yourself. You may wipe the smudges off your lenses and temporarily see a little better, but it’s still a broken lens. Only Christ and The Word can give you a whole new lens to look through.
3. Praise: Worshiping Christ will take the blame off of Him and put the praise back on to Him. Giving Christ praise and glory, even through the bad will change your heart and your eyes. You won’t go to blaming others or Christ, instead, your mind will settle on the goodness of God and your heart will repeat scripture that accurately reflects that.
Hebrews 10:24-25 says, “Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.”
Can I gently encourage you to stop living your life through the lens of blame? Allow God into the dark and broken places in your life. Allow Him to heal the hurt and bring good out of it. Allow scripture to be the lens you see the world through. Guard your heart and your mind so you won’t easily place blame on God when the road gets bumpy.
And when it really is someone else’s fault- know you don’t have to live your life based on the decisions or actions of someone else. When you continue to blame them for what happened and not allow Christ to heal and mend the hurt, you can spend many years living in that blame instead of freedom. The lens you choose to look through will be the lens you train your children through, the lens you speak through, and the lens you see others through.
Live in freedom today while you go to Christ to give you a new lens.