To The Little Girl We Never Got to Adopt,
For One year I got to be your Mom. I don’t know if you will remember be as much as I will remember you. For one year we got to play dress up, dance all over the house, sing together, cuddle and watch movies. Do you remember when I straightened your hair for the first time? You could not stop looking into the mirror! You are the sweetest, kindest, prettiest little girl. You are feisty and kept up with all the older kids in the house. When I would do my hair and makeup you would stand next to me brushing your hair and putting on the clear lipgloss I got for you. You were like a mini me and I completely fell in love with you.
You came dirty and with no underwear on but your smile and eyes lit up the room. You couldn’t read or count but you worked really hard. You are excellent at colors. Your favorite color was pink. You were barely 5 and so innocent. Your circumstances hadn’t seem to catch up to you yet. You had pizza with us for the first time in your life. We decorated your room together. We did Princess Theme. Do you remember your nickname?
You would tell me that you wanted to live with me forever. Until you were a very old lady to be exact. I wanted the same. We asked the caseworker what was going to happen. They tried to get in contact with any family member of yours willing to take you. For awhile no one was able to. I begged the caseworker to consider us. She said they had to find family first. Finally, a distant relative stepped up and they lived out of state. I was devastated. I knew that I would never see you again. You didn’t want to leave. You cried. I cried.
I want you to know that I had prayed and asked God for him to make a way for you to stay. I don’t know why he would allow you to leave. I cried a lot. It has been two years and I still miss you. I have a picture of you up in my house and we still talk about you from time to time. You will forever be a little 5 year old girl in my heart.
The mother who wishes she was your mother