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Heather Margiotta

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You are here: Home / Adoption / The Year of the Christmas Tree

The Year of the Christmas Tree

in Adoption on 10/03/16

2015 Margiotta Christmas Tree

September 2013:

Sunny and dry Arizona was our home of only three months before we met our son, M. He was the seventh foster child to walk into our home where we fostered eight to ten kids at a time. We spent our time learning about him, his fuzzy past, likes and dislikes, his pet peeves and his passions. He was energetic with a deep imagination that came out through in his self-made comics. We helped him with his school work and was there for him when he dealt with the hurt and confusion after his family visits.

 

May 2014:

Our son was told he would be going home to his mom this month. He patiently waited while struggling at the same time. He yearned to be with her. He stopped listening to basic house rules to show his loyalty to her. He spoke hurtful words that symbolized he was rejecting me. I didn’t want his last days with me to be filled with resistance and rejecting. I wanted to see that he was going to miss me and that he cared about me. I was hurting. He was hurting more. I needed to remind myself of that.

 

June 2014:

M never left. Mom couldn’t complete her plan and check the last few tasks on her to do list. We continued on and slowly returned to our normal.

 

January 2015:

M has been living with us for a year and a half. Even though we had tough days and lots of learning on both ends, it has been all enjoyable. We have seen him grow and mature, while others complimented how much he has changed in many good ways. His family visits stopped. He hasn’t seen his mom in over six months. I didn’t have any answers and he stopped asking about her months ago. One early morning his caseworker called us and asked us a question that we deeply desired. So much so that we were afraid to admit how much out of fear it would never happen. But it did happen. She asked us if we would consider adopting him. We told her we didn’t need to consider it. It was a resounding YES!

We still faced the court process of severance before he would be considered adoptable. We knew his mother could fight this and that it could take years before her parental rights were removed since she has the legal right to appeal. We prayed for Gods will and reached out to our community of friends and family to join us in those prayers.

 

May 2015:

We attended the first court hearing of M’s severance trial. Mom choose to fight it as expected. I couldn’t blame her. I knew she loved him. I saw how much she loved him when she was working her plan to get him back. She is sick. She is struggling. But her life demons do not diminish her love for her son. The judge announced in court that my husband and I were his potential adoption placement. She starred at me. I was too scared to look her in the eyes. How could I look at a mom and say that I am taking her son. I know that this situation we are all in is because of her life choices, but it’s still her son. She was the one to feel the pains of labor that birthed him life. She was the one to change his diapers and hold him. I am sure she kissed him a lot. Don’t all mothers? My heart hurts for her. God gave me compassion and empathy for her. Court was over and a new court date was scheduled. Standing outside of the building she came up to me. She was timid and uncertain. She asked me how he was doing. I said good. She asked me if he asks about her. I paused, I couldn’t speak. I quietly just shook my head no. She then asked if we were going to adopt him. I said we would like to. She stood there, glancing down at the ground as if she was holding back tears. She slowly moved her eyes back onto mine. They were filled with so much emotion. Failure, sadness, hurt, pain. It took my breath away. I felt her pain. I don’t know what my eyes spoke to her, I hope she saw love, compassion, and empathy. She quietly walked away with her head down.

 

July 2015:

Our son’s caseworker called us to let us know that our son’s mom signed over her parental rights. She knew she couldn’t take care of M. She showed how much she loved him by allowing him to have a life she knew she couldn’t give him. I am thankful. Thankful this did not get drawn out. There was nothing she could have done at this point to overturn a judge’s decision to sever. Thankful we were not stuck in limbo stage.

We told M. We told M that his mom tried and that she loves him. She loves him so much that she choose to give him to us. He cried. I don’t have words. He asked where he would go. We told him with us. He just cried.

 

August 2015:

A quick court hearing was held to officially sever parental rights. We were appointed as his adoption placement.

We wanted to be near family since we gave birth to a son and would be adopting a son. Arizona told us that if we moved M would follow soon. Soon as in the end of October. We finished the final details of moving and packed up and headed east to Ohio. We told our son that he would be with us soon. October would be here before we knew it.

 

September 2015:

Our sons case was transferred from reunification to adoption. This new change meant a new caseworker. This new caseworker reached out to me. We talked about my son’s history and our relationship. We were excited for him to be here soon. She agreed and informed me that she will be contacting our state to get a caseworker assigned to him here.

This month is also M’s birthday month. We told him we have his birthday gift waiting for him. We couldn’t wait for him to see what we got him. He loves video games so we bought him an all in one system. It has most of the old school systems combined into one. He is going to be so shocked. We don’t think he knows something like this exists.

 

October 2015:

We have been talking on the phone to M daily and video chat with him a couple times a month. His hair is getting long and he is loving school.

His caseworker told us our son won’t be able to move this month. She also has not contacted our state to assign him a caseworker here in Ohio. I am confused. She refuses to answer my questions. She calls me and tells me that I am being difficult because I have so many questions.

But, December is not that far away. Only two more months. It will be Christmas and we will be together as a family. So we planned.

November 2015:

Still no phone call to our state to assign a new caseworker. I have been calling Arizona almost daily. I email daily. I even talked to a supervisor. Nothing is happening and I don’t know why.

We decorate the house for Christmas. I am praying that our son could move here in the next few weeks. We tell him that we could spend Christmas and Christmas break together and he could start his new school after the new year. He is so excited. M gives us his Christmas list. So many toys! We buy them all and more. We told him his presents are waiting for him when he gets here.

 

January 2016:

The new caseworker in Ohio was finally assigned to us. She is amazing. She said we still have to work with the Arizona caseworker until the adoption is finalized since we’re adopting from a different state, but she encouraged us she will be with us through every step of the way.

We were told that M should be here no later than February. We told M and he asked if we could keep up our Christmas tree so we can celebrate together. His gifts are stacked neatly under the tree. I hope he likes what we got him.

M is asking a lot of questions that we don’t have the answers to. He doesn’t know how to form his feelings into words to his caseworker, he is a child after all. His grades are slipping in school as he is uncertain of his future. He is struggling. We express our love and how hard we are working for him.

 

March 2016:

We completed everything Ohio required of us for M to move here. Arizona called us to tell us that our sons caseworker there was released from her job. He will be assigned a new one and they don’t know how long that will take. They are short staffed. They said that after they hire a new caseworker they will need time to catch up on M’s paperwork because the previous one didn’t do it. This pushes his move date back to May.

We told him that we have put his Easter Basket under the tree. It is Spring and our tree is still up. Our neighbors won’t talk to us. They must think we are odd. Our tree is clearly visible from the outside. We tell everyone that comes over why our tree is up. It has become a running joke with our friends. Everyone asks how our tree is doing, like it’s a new member of our family. They ask if we can just continue to keep it up because before we know it, Christmas will be here.

 

May 2016:

The Arizona caseworker is taking her time with the paperwork. Part of me wants to give up on the calls and emails. My questions go unanswered; blame is shifted to me even though I have done everything asked. My husband has been strong through this all. He comes home from work tired and sits with me as I cry. He listens to my day’s battles of wanting our son here. He comforts me and prays for our son and prays for me. I pray for him too.

Arizona tells us they completed the paperwork for M to move. They now need the state to approve it and they can book his plane ticket. This should be done in August.

I am thankful we chose a fake tree. We almost went with a real one but last minute decided against it. Three strands of lights have burnt out so we keep it off. The ornaments are dusty. I tried wiping them and gave up soon after. Nobody has time for that. Our neighbors still ignore us. It has to be because of this tree.

 

July 2016:

No answers on why the ticket has not been bought. Arizona gives us blanket statements. I call everyone I know. Lord give me favor.

Our son tells us he went to the doctors and he has grown a lot. He is almost as tall as me. He is getting excited. Pine needles are falling off my tree. My fake tree. Fake pine needles. I didn’t know this could happen. Should I plan a time for friends and family to come and say their final goodbyes?  My tree wants to rest. It has been feeling the weight of all of this. I should give it a name. No, I can’t. I don’t want this tree up anymore.

 

August 2016:

Our son is home. He is home, forever. We still have to go to court to make it legal. But at this point it doesn’t matter. He is here.

Tonight we celebrate his Birthday, Christmas, and Easter. He loved everything. He asked if we would keep the tree up. I told him, don’t worry, we need to take it down to dust everything off and put new lights on but that in three short months we will put it back up.

Today, I am so thankful.

Thank you Jesus!

And here’s to the Year of the Christmas Tree.

 

16 Comments


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Comments

  1. Ginger says

    December 20, 2016 at 10:13 am

    What a wonderful way to tell about an awful time! You truly have a gift! In more ways than one! If you were my neighbor I’d love to see your tree up!

    Reply
    • Heather says

      December 20, 2016 at 2:27 pm

      Thank You Ginger for such loving words!

      Reply
  2. Sam says

    December 26, 2016 at 3:15 pm

    Wow! You’re a beautiful soul. What a lovely story:)

    Reply
    • Heather says

      December 28, 2016 at 6:19 pm

      Thank you Sam!

      Reply
  3. Jessi says

    December 26, 2016 at 3:19 pm

    Beautiful. I think fostering is amazing. I used to volunteer as a guardian ad litem and these kids are just so amazing.

    Reply
    • Heather says

      December 28, 2016 at 6:19 pm

      That’s wonderful!

      Reply
  4. Georgiana says

    December 26, 2016 at 4:45 pm

    What a hard and beautiful story. You must have so much love to be able to foster and adopt. Thank God for people like you!

    Reply
    • Heather says

      December 28, 2016 at 6:19 pm

      Thank you!

      Reply
  5. Kasey @ The Kept Wife says

    December 27, 2016 at 7:16 pm

    So beautiful !!! Truly a happy ending!

    Reply
    • Heather says

      December 28, 2016 at 6:18 pm

      Absolutely!

      Reply
  6. Stacy- Taylor411 says

    December 28, 2016 at 12:24 am

    What an amazing journey!! You are wonderful, I wish their was more people I never the world like you and your husband.

    Reply
    • Heather says

      December 28, 2016 at 6:18 pm

      Thank you Stacy for your sweet words!

      Reply
  7. Jenni Petrey says

    December 29, 2016 at 7:19 am

    What a journey, thank you for sharing it with us. I wish you all love, peace and happiness xx

    Reply
    • Heather says

      December 31, 2016 at 11:56 pm

      Thank you❤️❤️

      Reply
  8. Melissa says

    December 29, 2016 at 11:15 am

    Wow what a story. I can only imagine the feelings you all went through during the process. I’m so glad it has a beautiful ending for you and your son.

    Reply
    • Heather says

      December 31, 2016 at 11:56 pm

      Thank you!! ❤️❤️

      Reply

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I met Jesus when I was 14 years old. My brother invited me to church with him, I went, listened, and was given a Bible at the end of the service. ••••
I remember coming home and sitting on my bed with my new Bible in my hand. I sat there thinking of everything I was told that night and how it reminded me of everything I was taught when I was a little girl. ••••
After sitting there for awhile, I prayed for the very first time. Out loud I said, “OK God, if you are who they say you are, then why would you send your son to die for me, why wouldn’t you just die for me?”
••••
Immediately, and when I say immediately I truly mean with no hesitation a thought came into my mind. I heard, “Doesn’t a parent love their child so much that they would die for them? I love you so much more then that, that I would allow my child to die for YOU.”
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I knew the thought that had entered my mind was not from me. I knew it was God speaking directly to me. Since that day, I’ve followed Jesus, learning more about Him, and have dedicated my life to sharing about eternal life through Christ and all the goodness He is. ••••
The world will tell you religion is all about rules and what not to do. Can I personally tell you, that is not true. Following Jesus has given me freedom to truly live. I GET to do things because of Jesus. ••••
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I get to live a life full of JOY because joy comes from Jesus! 
And sooo much more! ••••
My prayer for you is to passionately serve Jesus, have eternal life through Him, and to truly experience what is feels to live a life of freedom.
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I spent a semester in Israel during my college yea I spent a semester in Israel during my college years @seuniversity. It was two months after James and I got married so, our first few months as a married couple were spent walking the same streets of Jesus. To say it was a cool experience would be an understatement. •••••••
During my time in Israel there were two moments that took my breath away. One of those moments was being in the literally prison hole that Jesus stayed in the night before He died. •••••••
Historical sites are given a grading scale. An A site is “this is for sure the site that XYZ took place.” An B site is “XYZ took place here OR there” And a C site is “XYZ took place somewhere in this region.” •••••••
Jesus holding cell is an A site. •••••••
I stood in the prison with my fellow students and professor and his family. We sang the hymn - “I Have Decided To Follow Jesus.” It was the only time there I wept like a baby. Snot and all haha! •••••••
But man, to be where your savior was knowing what was to come and He chose to do it anyways. I’ve never felt more love in that moment then I have in my entire life. ••••••••
So today, my prayer is for you to feel that same love. To know Jesus died today for YOU and that He came back for YOU! You are His chosen child. •
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I don’t believe we will ever be in a time like t I don’t believe we will ever be in a time like this again; where we’re forced to stay home, have no schedule, and simply enjoy each other. •
•

My heart is with all those who are working in the medical field and all the families affected by COVID-19. We lost my uncle this morning to this horrible virus. I’ve been praying for my family and yours and will continue to do so. •
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So, I want to serve you and since i cannot physically be there with you, I can pray for you. How can I be praying for you today?
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I posted last night how I would be sharing with yo I posted last night how I would be sharing with you today what the beginning of 2020 held for my family which caused me to take a pause on writing. •
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In January we lost my sweet mother-in-law very suddenly. It was a shock to us all and has taken us a bit to wrap our minds around. •
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In addition to the loss of my mother-in-law, we’ve been navigating some health struggles. Now, with everything going on in our world, I can say it’s def been a year so far. •
•

But, God is good. If it’s not good- then it doesn’t come from God. The enemy is very real but nothing to fear because our God is bigger. •
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So, Today, I want to take a moment to share with you what losing my sweet mother-in-law has taught me. It’s something we can all learn from and I hope it blesses you and encourages you. •
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Hi, friend. I know it’s been awhile and I have Hi, friend. 
I know it’s been awhile and I have a post going up tomorrow that explains what the beginning of 2020 has held for myself and my family. 
But, I wanted to get one here tonight to share something that has been on my heart. 
You cannot turn on the TV or pick up your phone without the word “COVID-19” blaring at you. While it’s wise to be informed, these are times many can become anxious, full of fear, and worry. 
Friend, this is our time. And what I mean by that, it’s the Church body’s time. It’s our time to rise up and praise the name of Jesus louder then any other name or word. 
Can I remind you that Jesus conquered every sickness and disease! 
Every. Single. One. 
When He died on that cross. 
And He rose again. 
There are a lot of different beliefs on healing, authority, and what role it plays in our life today. I want to encourage you to seek Jesus through His word and allow the Holy Spirit to guide you to His truth. 
When you find yourself reading this, do me a favor and pause. Look up Psalm 91. Read it, listen to it on repeat on the Bible app, and dwell in the presence of God. 
And then, wake up tomorrow knowing you are a child of the most high King- who rescues you from every attack of the enemy, who protects you from deadly diseases, who is covering you with His feathers and providing you shelter. 
I love you, friend. I’m praying for you.
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My family and I just got back from spending a week in South Carolina for Christmas with my parents. •
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Today was a day full of unpacking, cleaning, grocery shopping, and getting back into our normal routine. •
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But, this morning while everyone slept I spent time praying and drinking some coffee. I have so many ideas, goals, and big dreams for my blog and this ministry. •
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As you know, I refer to my readers as ‘friend’ and that’s because a friend shows up, listens, encourages, shares, and prays. So, thank you. Thank you for being a friend. 
I’m looking forward to this new year with you as I share more of what God continues to lay on my heart. I’ll continue to look forward to hear from you as we do this journey of life together. •
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Love you friend.
Hi, friend. • • • I’ve been taking things Hi, friend. •
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Press in. •
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Happy Easter!! •••• I met Jesus when I was Happy Easter!!
••••
I met Jesus when I was 14 years old. My brother invited me to church with him, I went, listened, and was given a Bible at the end of the service. ••••
I remember coming home and sitting on my bed with my new Bible in my hand. I sat there thinking of everything I was told that night and how it reminded me of everything I was taught when I was a little girl. ••••
After sitting there for awhile, I prayed for the very first time. Out loud I said, “OK God, if you are who they say you are, then why would you send your son to die for me, why wouldn’t you just die for me?”
••••
Immediately, and when I say immediately I truly mean with no hesitation a thought came into my mind. I heard, “Doesn’t a parent love their child so much that they would die for them? I love you so much more then that, that I would allow my child to die for YOU.”
••••
I knew the thought that had entered my mind was not from me. I knew it was God speaking directly to me. Since that day, I’ve followed Jesus, learning more about Him, and have dedicated my life to sharing about eternal life through Christ and all the goodness He is. ••••
The world will tell you religion is all about rules and what not to do. Can I personally tell you, that is not true. Following Jesus has given me freedom to truly live. I GET to do things because of Jesus. ••••
I get to love others because Jesus taught me how to love. 
I get to give to others because Jesus has given so much to me. 
I get to truly forgive because Jesus forgave me. 
I get to heal from the hurts life has thrown at me because Jesus has healed me. 
I get to live a life full of JOY because joy comes from Jesus! 
And sooo much more! ••••
My prayer for you is to passionately serve Jesus, have eternal life through Him, and to truly experience what is feels to live a life of freedom.
••••
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
HEATHERMARGIOTTA.COM
I spent a semester in Israel during my college yea I spent a semester in Israel during my college years @seuniversity. It was two months after James and I got married so, our first few months as a married couple were spent walking the same streets of Jesus. To say it was a cool experience would be an understatement. •••••••
During my time in Israel there were two moments that took my breath away. One of those moments was being in the literally prison hole that Jesus stayed in the night before He died. •••••••
Historical sites are given a grading scale. An A site is “this is for sure the site that XYZ took place.” An B site is “XYZ took place here OR there” And a C site is “XYZ took place somewhere in this region.” •••••••
Jesus holding cell is an A site. •••••••
I stood in the prison with my fellow students and professor and his family. We sang the hymn - “I Have Decided To Follow Jesus.” It was the only time there I wept like a baby. Snot and all haha! •••••••
But man, to be where your savior was knowing what was to come and He chose to do it anyways. I’ve never felt more love in that moment then I have in my entire life. ••••••••
So today, my prayer is for you to feel that same love. To know Jesus died today for YOU and that He came back for YOU! You are His chosen child. •
•
•
•
•
• •
•
HEATHERMARGIOTTA.COM
I don’t believe we will ever be in a time like t I don’t believe we will ever be in a time like this again; where we’re forced to stay home, have no schedule, and simply enjoy each other. •
•

My heart is with all those who are working in the medical field and all the families affected by COVID-19. We lost my uncle this morning to this horrible virus. I’ve been praying for my family and yours and will continue to do so. •
•

So, I want to serve you and since i cannot physically be there with you, I can pray for you. How can I be praying for you today?
•
•
HEATHERMARGIOTTA.COM
I posted last night how I would be sharing with yo I posted last night how I would be sharing with you today what the beginning of 2020 held for my family which caused me to take a pause on writing. •
•

In January we lost my sweet mother-in-law very suddenly. It was a shock to us all and has taken us a bit to wrap our minds around. •
•

In addition to the loss of my mother-in-law, we’ve been navigating some health struggles. Now, with everything going on in our world, I can say it’s def been a year so far. •
•

But, God is good. If it’s not good- then it doesn’t come from God. The enemy is very real but nothing to fear because our God is bigger. •
•

So, Today, I want to take a moment to share with you what losing my sweet mother-in-law has taught me. It’s something we can all learn from and I hope it blesses you and encourages you. •
•
LINK IN BIO
Hi, friend. I know it’s been awhile and I have Hi, friend. 
I know it’s been awhile and I have a post going up tomorrow that explains what the beginning of 2020 has held for myself and my family. 
But, I wanted to get one here tonight to share something that has been on my heart. 
You cannot turn on the TV or pick up your phone without the word “COVID-19” blaring at you. While it’s wise to be informed, these are times many can become anxious, full of fear, and worry. 
Friend, this is our time. And what I mean by that, it’s the Church body’s time. It’s our time to rise up and praise the name of Jesus louder then any other name or word. 
Can I remind you that Jesus conquered every sickness and disease! 
Every. Single. One. 
When He died on that cross. 
And He rose again. 
There are a lot of different beliefs on healing, authority, and what role it plays in our life today. I want to encourage you to seek Jesus through His word and allow the Holy Spirit to guide you to His truth. 
When you find yourself reading this, do me a favor and pause. Look up Psalm 91. Read it, listen to it on repeat on the Bible app, and dwell in the presence of God. 
And then, wake up tomorrow knowing you are a child of the most high King- who rescues you from every attack of the enemy, who protects you from deadly diseases, who is covering you with His feathers and providing you shelter. 
I love you, friend. I’m praying for you.
It's 2020 and with a New Year comes a new FREEBIE! It's 2020 and with a New Year comes a new FREEBIE!
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🎉🎉🎉
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As a THANK YOU for being here AND being an email subscriber you will receive Loving The Life You Live E-Book with a printable Manifesto for FREE!
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I've spent the past few months writing on 9 simple truths to knowing who you are in Christ. •
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If you’ve been a follower of Jesus for some time, my hope is this book will be a reminder of God’s truth on who He says you are in His eyes. •
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If you're new in your relationship with Christ or are still trying to figure it out and need a little more guidance on finding out who you’re  created to be, this book will be perfect for you. •
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I pray this mini e-book will be an encouragement to your heart and for it to be a tool you use while you share the truths of Jesus with those around you. •
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If you’re already subscribed, check your inbox!
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If you're not a subscriber, click the LINK IN BIO and enter your email address.
Everyone is sharing their top 9 photos from 2019 b Everyone is sharing their top 9 photos from 2019 but I’m going to share my number one photo for this year. This photo represents an answer to prayer in my life and reminds me of the love and faithfulness of my Savior. •
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My family and I just got back from spending a week in South Carolina for Christmas with my parents. •
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Today was a day full of unpacking, cleaning, grocery shopping, and getting back into our normal routine. •
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But, this morning while everyone slept I spent time praying and drinking some coffee. I have so many ideas, goals, and big dreams for my blog and this ministry. •
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I thought about my reader who has used my blog posts to build a women’s ministry curriculum for her neighboring village in western part of Kenya. •
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I thought about my reader in Papua New Guinea who is new in her faith walk and a simple google search looking for more of God’s word led her to my site. •
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I thought about my reader who leads her local church with her husband here is the USA and was looking for a fellow female Christian to connect with and have a space to talk about things she can’t with those around her. •
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I thought about my reader who was diagnosed with a life altering illness and found my site while searching for scripture on healing. •
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I thought about you. The one who has visited and read time and time again. Who has listened while I shared from the deep parts of my heart on the struggles, the wins, the rejections, and the answered prayers of my life. Who has sent encouraging messages, shared feelings, and prayers. Who has in turn opened up to me and shared from the depths of their heart. •
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As you know, I refer to my readers as ‘friend’ and that’s because a friend shows up, listens, encourages, shares, and prays. So, thank you. Thank you for being a friend. 
I’m looking forward to this new year with you as I share more of what God continues to lay on my heart. I’ll continue to look forward to hear from you as we do this journey of life together. •
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Love you friend.
Hi, friend. • • • I’ve been taking things Hi, friend. •
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I’ve been taking things slow over here to enjoy as much of this baby season as humanly possible. Getting to hold and kiss Colton everyday, all day long is a huge blessing I don’t want to take for granted. •
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Because of that, my writing and speaking have been moving slower. I’ve had moments where I’ve shared with James the tug and pull I feel everyday, each week. There’s so many things I want to be doing, creating, sharing but I have to pick and choose right now. •
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Tonight, I was feeding Colton before putting him to bed. When he was done with his bottle I sat it down but kept holding him while finishing a tv show. I heard him cooing and I look down and this precious face was staring up at me with the sweetest smile. •
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Pure joy and love on his face. •
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Friend, here’s your friendly reminder to keep on praying and believing that God has already won the battle, flattened the mountain, and straightened your path. •
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After 2 and 1/2 years of barrenness and praying for this beautiful baby, my Heavenly Father so lovingly answered my prayer with the sweetest boy. •
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I feel closer to Jesus because I pressed into Him during my waiting season and I want the same for you. •
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Press in. •
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And when your prayer is answered: enjoy. every. part. of. it. •
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Even if that means other things need to move slower. •
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Love you, friend. ❤️
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